Coaching the Coach: Why Even Experts Need Experts

If you're guiding others but not growing yourself, you're capping your impact. Here's why the best coaches are coachable, and how that unlocks next-level leadership.

When I'm asked to reflect on my biggest wins, I don’t think about revenue milestones or market share. I think about people. The careers I’ve helped shape. The confidence I’ve helped spark. The leaders who now lead others.

Sure, companies come and go. Growth, revenue, and acquisitions matter, especially to the people inside those organizations. But they’re not lasting. Maureen, Stacy, Alex, Laurel, and so many others? The marketers turned mentors. The executors turned executives. That’s the work I’m most proud of. Making a difference in their careers—that’s the legacy that sticks.

Although I am coaching almost a dozen marketing leaders right now and building out a professional development platform to help mid-level marketers become strategic marketing leaders, there's a secret weapon that makes me better and more effective each week.

My coach.

Recently, she challenged me on something I didn’t even realize I was doing: shrinking my own ambitions in order to stay comfortable. I was playing within familiar boundaries, even while encouraging others to push theirs.

She called it out. Asked why I was holding back. Held space for the real answer. That conversation reactivated a plan I’ve been sitting on for years. It was something I kept pushing aside while helping others launch their careers, ideas, and businesses. I'm launching a higher-tier offer, rethinking my visibility strategy, and stepping more fully into the voice I’ve been developing for others but resisting for myself. I don’t just want to do good work. I want to leave a legacy.

The irony? I needed someone to coach me through the very breakthrough I help others reach.

My reliance on my coach reminds me of something every coach, consultant, or leader eventually learns. You cannot do your best work for others if you are not doing the deeper work on yourself. Coaching is not just something we offer. It is something we need.

Especially if we want to keep growing, keep evolving, and keep making the kind of impact that actually lasts.

The Leadership Illusion

Let’s be honest. Leadership culture has a blind spot. We glorify independence, confidence, and always having the answer. But here’s the trap: when you’re the go-to for everyone else, it gets harder to admit when you don’t know what’s next.

That’s the leadership illusion. The false belief that the leader, the coach, or the strategist should somehow be immune to confusion, doubt, or missteps. 

"I should have it all figured out."

But reality doesn’t work like that.

Behind the scenes, many coaches hit the same walls their clients do.

Burnout: Serving While Sinking

When your job is to be the steady voice, the sounding board, the one with the plan, it is easy to neglect your own internal work. You spend your days listening deeply, guiding decisions, and energizing others. But who’s doing that for you? Without intentional recovery, this quiet depletion builds. You start running on empty, even as you keep showing up at full volume. Clarity needs care.

Imposter Syndrome: Performing Under Pressure

When you're the expert in the room, admitting uncertainty feels risky. You set high standards for yourself, often higher than anyone else expects. You isolate under the weight of performance. And slowly, the question creeps in: am I really as good as they think I am? Without reflection and support, that inner doubt starts shaping your outer actions. Confidence crumbles in isolation.

Blind Spots: Progress Without Perspective

We all have mental shortcuts and assumptions we operate within, especially when we’ve had success. But what worked at one level can quietly hold you back at the next. Without someone to question your defaults, you keep repeating patterns that no longer serve you. You can’t shift what you can’t see. Patterns need perspective.

The truth? Believing you should have it all figured out is what keeps you stuck. That illusion keeps you from the very thing that unlocks your next level: growth. Coaching is not about fixing flaws. It is about unlocking force. And it starts with you.

When you invest in your own growth, you do more than sharpen your skills. You demonstrate what intentional development looks like. You give others permission to question, to reset, and to evolve. That is leadership in motion.

---

Coaching is not about fixing flaws. It is about unlocking force.

---

The Power of Perspective

A few years ago, I was stuck. My calendar was full. My revenue was solid. But I felt off, like I was running someone else’s race.

Enter my coach.

She asked one simple question that flipped everything.

“What do you want to be?”

Cue: awkward silence.

And then?

Clarity.

She helped me unpack the silent scripts I didn’t know I was following. She challenged the fear behind my excuses. She helped me reconnect to my "why." Her approach was supportive but not soft. Clear-eyed and compassionate, but direct enough to say what needed saying.

The impact? More energy. Sharper focus. Real progress.

The Blind Spot Triangle

By studying coaching leaders, I've seen a pattern play out. Growth is shaped by levels of awareness across what you know, what others see, and what only coaching can reveal. This pattern forms what I define as the Blind Spot Triangle. It's a simple but powerful lens for understanding where personal growth gets stuck and how to move forward.

• What you know: The tools you trust, the systems you’ve built, and the strategies you’ve refined come together to help you deliver value. This includes your core skills, experiences, offers, workflow, and the rituals you rely on to stay consistent. These are the materials of mastery that build your record and reputation. What you know contributes to your confidence. It’s the foundation you return to when you're tested or need to reestablish your value.

  
  

• What others see: Your unconscious signals, including your tone, timing, and energy, demonstrate the micro-messages you send with every choice you make. It's how you enter a room, how you respond to pressure, and how you carry stress even when you say you're fine. Others notice your pacing, pauses, and patterns. It's the version of you that people interpret, whether or not it's what you intend to project.

  
  

• What coaching reveals: The deeper layer of internal narratives, unspoken fears, and default beliefs silently steer your decisions. They influence how you handle conflict, price your work, react to uncertainty, and define success. Often, you can’t name them because they’ve become part of your operating system. But once revealed and reformed, they unlock your next level. It's the deep work that changes your behavior, presence, and performance.

  
  

You can’t self-coach your way out of every stuck point. You need an honest and encouraging reflection of the truth. Someone to call out the patterns you’ve normalized. Someone to help you shift not just what you do, but how you think.

---

If you're guiding others but not growing yourself, you're capping your impact.

---

The Benefits of Being Coached

When you adopt a coach, three things unlock, not just for you, but for your organization, and even your way of leading. But first, let’s name what it feels like without them.

Without clarity, you spin your wheels and confuse motion for progress. Without confidence, you shrink in moments that call for presence. Without capacity, you lead from exhaustion, not intention. Coaching is the lever that shifts all three. Capability is table stakes. Strategic leadership takes much more. Coaching delivers clarity, confidence, and capacity.

Clarity

Clarity helps you to stop reacting. You slow the noise and step back far enough to see the whole field. It's the antidote to overthinking and overdoing. It helps you pause the urgency and prioritize what really matters, so you can lead with intention instead of running on instinct.

When you gain clarity, your team gains alignment. You communicate priorities clearly, reduce confusion, and accelerate decision-making across the organization.

Coaching helps you separate the real issue from the loudest distraction. Instead of obsessing over surface-level symptoms, you drill into root causes. You ask better questions. You recognize patterns. And most importantly, you see the big picture to make informed decisions that move things forward with intention and direction.

Confidence

Confidence comes from both knowledge of your field and knowledge of yourself. Knowing your craft builds credibility. Knowing yourself builds presence. Together, they create conviction about what you know and how you show up with it.

When leaders operate with confidence, they create psychological safety. Teams take more initiative, bring bolder ideas, and perform with greater autonomy.

A skilled coach won’t feed you answers. They ask the kind of questions that reconnect you with your own insight. They reflect your value when you’ve forgotten it. They help you name the growth you’ve earned but haven’t yet claimed. You stop seeking validation. You start owning your voice. That shift changes how you enter a room, how you lead a conversation, and how you carry your work forward.

Capacity

Capacity isn’t just about time. It’s about energy, focus, and margin. It’s your ability to be fully present, to make room for vision instead of just task execution. Without capacity, creativity shrinks and leadership becomes reactive. With it, you lead from intention, not exhaustion.

Leaders with capacity don’t just manage people. They elevate them. They create margin for strategic thinking, mentorship, and culture-building that scale long-term impact.

Coaching clears the mental fog that builds up from constantly holding space for others. You release outdated expectations, emotional clutter, and the pressure to prove yourself. And with that reclaimed capacity, you don't just lead better. You live better. You create, connect, and contribute from a place of purpose, not pressure.

Real World Benefits

I’ve seen this transformation play out time and time again. I’ve coached marketers into leadership roles, designers into business owners, and executives into more intentional, human-first leaders. What changes isn’t just their title. It’s how they think, decide, and lead.

Maureen, a marketing executive leader, described how coaching helped her shift from tactical executor to strategic leader. Coaching helped her with the art of negotiation, persistence, and focus that became more valuable as her career progressed. The coaching relationship has lasted for years. "I still call him when I need to reset, rethink, or recharge. He's been a manager, a mentor, and a friend. And someone I trust when I need to elevate my next move."

Stacy, the owner of a creative agency, grew from a strong creative contributor into a strategic thinker with a seat at the table. Through coaching, she built the confidence to speak up, shape direction, and own her expertise. Eventually, she launched her own design firm. Coaching didn’t just change her role. It changed her identity as a marketing leader. “I got coaching at a pivotal time in my career and life. Without the guidance, encouragement, and mentorship, I wouldn’t have learned to think bigger.”

Being coached helps you get out of your head and back into your power. It doesn’t just shift your business. It reshapes your identity. It upgrades how you think, lead, and serve.

Why Smart Leaders Resist Coaching

If you’re reading this thinking, “I already know this,” that’s the ego talking.

Strong leaders often build their identity around being capable, confident, and self-reliant.

Admitting they need help can feel like admitting weakness or failure. Letting someone in means revealing the parts of yourself you’re still working through. Vulnerability threatens the polished image leaders feel they need to project.

Most resistance to coaching doesn’t come from logic. It comes from fear. Fear of being seen. Fear of being wrong. Fear of being found out.

Here are the most common excuses:

• “I don’t have time.” Translation: I don’t prioritize my own growth.

• “I can figure it out.” Translation: I’m afraid to be vulnerable.

• “I’ve tried coaching before.” Translation: I didn’t go all in.

But coaching isn't about weakness. It's about unlocking new strength. Coaching asks you to let go of being the smartest person in the room. When leaders who rely on control, decisiveness, or perfection find it threatening, coaching can reverse that logic for long-term gain. 

Real coaching is rigorous, revealing, and results-driven.

Coaching doesn’t expose your flaws. It expands your capacity. 

It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It means you’re ready for more.

Coaching challenges your comfort and rewires your reflexes. 

It demands humility, curiosity, and the courage to evolve.

And those, not perfection, are the real markers of strong leadership.

How to Choose (and Use) the Right Coach

Not all coaching is created equal. Great coaching doesn’t just come from expertise. It comes from alignment, trust, and the willingness to go deep. It's not about having the smartest answers, but asking the right questions. The best coaches create space where you can be honest, get challenged, and reconnect to what truly matters, without fear or ego.

Here’s how to find the right coach and make the most of it.

Look for someone who:

• Aligns with your values and vision

• Will challenge your thinking, not just validate your choices

• Has a track record of deep, sustained client transformation

• Listens beyond your words to spot the patterns you can’t see

• Makes you slightly nervous—in a good way—because you know they’ll push you

Once you’ve found them, get the most from the process. 

Show up like it matters:

• Bring the hard questions, not just the highlight reel

• Track insights, not just tasks

• Reflect between sessions and apply what you uncover

• Be honest when it’s uncomfortable. That’s where the real growth lives.

Being coachable isn’t about needing help. It’s about being committed to evolution. It’s about seeing yourself clearly enough to grow into your next level.

It’s the difference between staying busy and becoming better. Between checking boxes and challenging your assumptions. Being coachable means you’re willing to be seen, stretched, and sharpened.

When you grow, everyone around you benefits. That includes your team, your clients, and your company. That’s how coaching compounds.

The Ripple Effect of Coaching

When coaches get coached, they don’t just level up. They unlock new dimensions of service, impact, and self-awareness. Coaching elevates not only what they do, but how they do it. and who they become in the process.

They model growth. Multiply transformation. Deepen their own leadership.

It creates a loop of trust, learning, and momentum. The more you grow, the more effective you become. The more effective you become, the more others grow through you.

So the real question isn’t: “Do I need a coach?”

It’s: What version of yourself are you waiting to become?

And what ripple effect would that create?

Coaching doesn’t just unlock your next move. It reshapes your legacy.